When dating, how far apart is too far apart when discussing age difference?

This question arises from time to time among my circle of friends, and it’s always interesting hearing the different responses.  Obviously, this will pertain only to those who are older than 18.  If you’re older than 18, you really shouldn’t be with anyone younger.  I’ll catch shit for that opinion, but it’s fine.

My thought on this subject is that all college students are in each other’s age range.  That has always been my opinion.  So yes, a 22-year old senior can date an 18-year old freshman and I have no qualms with that.  Most college students share the same amount of maturity anyway and chances are that an 18-year old girl likely has as much maturity as a 22-year old man.  Sorry men, it’s the truth.  There are exceptions though.  That rule mainly applies to undergrads.  There is no reason that a 24-year old law student should be dating someone not even old enough to drink yet.  And of course, people who go back to school in their thirties or forties are also subject to different rules.

After college is when it gets tricky.  Certainly, a 24-year old recent graduate can date a 22-year old senior.  I’m sure that’s relatively normal.  But are all college graduates or those of post-college age lumped into the same dating boat?  Is it okay for a 40-year old man to date a 27-year old woman or vice versa?  The general rule I hear is that most people should take their age, divide it by two and then add seven.  That number should represent the lowest age that you can date.  In my case, I’m 22, so I divide by two and add seven, I get 18.  Fine.  But in four days I’ll be 23.  So I guess 18 and a half is my age limit.  Whatever, I have a personal rule that says that I will only date girls in about a three-year radius of myself.  So the lowest I’ll date is 20, whereas the highest age I’ll date is 26.  That’s factoring in my birthday in four days.  I think that’s relatively safe.  Most people who are 20 have similar interests and goals as I do, and the same can be said for those who are a bit older than myself. 

But that’s just a personal rule.  I’m more interested in discussing what society generally looks at as the rule.  Is the divide by two and add seven rule okay?  If it is, that means that a 40-year old can date a 27-year old and we can look at that as being okay.  I’m assuming my math is correct.  I’m in school to write, not do math.  That means a 60-year old can date a 37-year old.  Is that cool?  Maybe if you’re Hugh Hefner.

Here’s what I think: I think that the divide by two and add seven rule is perfectly fine up until the age of 30.  At 30, when you divide by two and add seven, you get 22.  I don’t see many issues with a 30-year old dating a 22-year old.  Sure, the age difference is kind of big, but when you’re both older that doesn’t matter.  That’s also assuming the couple intends to get married.  However, once you cross into the thirties and above, I think finding someone within five years of your age is a reasonable thing to ask, no?  Is that just me or do many of you feel the same way?

I did have grandparents who were nine years apart in age.  I guess when one of you is 74 and the other is 65, it doesn’t much matter anymore.  You’re both so close to death anyway that you might as well be happy.  A little morbid?  Maybe.

Thoughts on this at all?  Am I crazy or are my rules generally accepted by most?  I’m not asking for any specific reason.  The girl who I most recently went out with was 19-years old.  I guess that fits into my three-year age range that I shoot for.  Until Tuesday, at least.

I don’t have much more to discuss today other than the fact that I’m hoping to celebrate my birthday this weekend by going out and getting excessively drunk at inappropriate places and times.  Perhaps I’ll try a new place that I haven’t yet been to and I can add it to my review of the best bars and restaurants in the city.  Wish me luck.  And of course, if I have an awesome story to tell, everyone wins.

Short entry today.  I hope everyone has been successful in their attempts to battle the icy and snowy road conditions.  I had a blast driving in it and the ladies at my bank looked at me like I had three heads when I told them that driving in snow is “too much fun for me.”  Whatever ladies, I’m sure you all did donuts in your high school’s parking lot when you were my age.  Have a good weekend everyone.  See you Monday.

7 thoughts on “When dating, how far apart is too far apart when discussing age difference?

  1. I find older men to be extremely stimulating. I think you can date whatever age as long as they’re a good distance younger (5 years+ is solid) than your parents and older than your youngest siblings (or oldest child – if it applies)

  2. My Boyfriend is 60 and I am 34. I have absolutely no problem with it. I like the maturity level and the way he treats me. He grew up in a different generation and that shows.

  3. What the fuk dude u think age 30 I can’t date 20 year old as long ad chick is 18 plus I don’t give fuk about age as long as she ends up in my bed and as my name suggest I m thirty and having old men problem like arthisis bladder problem fuk I need my walkers shit get the fuk over it chicks like older guys because we are more level headed u drunk college idiots whose maturity is fuming below fifteen year old right now I m dating 22 year old now go fuk yourself and play video game

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